You know how I just up and went to Vermont with Garrett for a spur of the moment trip last week? I mentioned in that post that a few things that had turned into a headache. One of those things was a contract. Thank goodness for great lawyers, but all the legal talk had my head spinning!!!
During one of the calls, my lawyer was explaining the difference between “reasonable” and “best.” There is apparently a HUGE difference in those two words. “Best” meaning that you did literally everything possible and “reasonable” being a little bit more forgiving.
Separate from the contract, it actually got me thinking. Outside of the law, I think you need both ends of the spectrum. You have to do your best, within reason.
On an everyday basis, I really do try to do my very best. I’ll agree to do something on a short notice… I’ll bend over backwards to get something done well… I’ll rearrange my schedule if need be. However, there are times when I just can’t make it happen. I used to take these moments as serious personal defeats. I would really beat myself up about it. Sometimes I’d even still make it happen at the detriment to my own self.
I do want and strive to do my very best with every opportunity, but there is a line when doing my best isn’t necessarily reasonable. Figuring out where that line is is definitely a challenge, but it’s worth examining and figuring out when it’s questionable! If you’re not sure if you can handle something, sit down and really figure out to what extent you can or can’t do it. Maybe you need to compromise or negotiate what is being asked… maybe you actually can say “yes”… or maybe you really do have to pass altogether.
Sometimes you do have to give yourself a break and realize that you will do the best you can given the circumstances. When you start being consistent about doing your best when possible, the end results will be even better because you’re doing it in the right situations.
Have you ever felt pressured to do your best even if it didn’t feel possible? How have you learned to say no?
I've learned that rather than trying to make up excuses to myself and the others involved that being honest leaves both parties feeling satisfied. Honesty will make a "no" or a disappointment much easier and the other side will leave the situation feeling respected.
I am still learning how to say no and it is so hard. Like you Carly, I tend to do everything in my power to please all (even when it's not reasonable). This will probably be a constant struggle in my life but I am getting better. I recently said no to taking on another commitment and am so happy I did!
Carly, just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy your blog. I originally started reading about two years ago when I googled "J Crew chino short fit reviews" and somehow your website popped up! I've been reading it almost every day since then (but never commented) and I think your writing (which was always great) has only gotten better. Even though it is entitled the "college prep", I really love that you have broadened your focus beyond style and fashion and write meaningful posts such as this one. It really sets you apart from the other "preppy lifestyle" bloggers out there. In particular, I love reading about your fabulous life in NYC – I always think of you as a young Charlotte from SATC 😉 Keep up the good work!
This is a good lesson and one that I particularly needed to hear today! I am in a situation where my team is trying their best to appease a client, but nothing we do seems to be good enough.
Many times they want something late at night or first thing in the AM that isnt exactly feasible. I feel this is good lesson to do your best, within reason!
Learning to say no is one of the toughest things – especially in college. Trying to figure out how to spread myself, and making sure it is not too thinly, is something I've been working on for years, but has most definitely been tested in the college setting.
Carly!! The same really often happens to me too! Maybe the key issue in such situation is particulary accurate time and task management. But without your patience I suggest there will be no results. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Google+FacebookTwitter
Not really in the mood to be in photos right now, but I keep telling myself I’ll want to look back on these moments and remember them. (Right?!) when I look at these photos in 10, 20, 30 years…
I hope I remember Jack “rescuing” Rory from a windy tent, not how I stood in front of my closet with tears in my eyes.
I hope I remember watching Jack roll down hills and play hop scotch and scoot down the sidewalk with his besties, not that I caught a glimpse of my reflection and didn’t recognize myself.
I hope I remember sitting outside with my friend happily watching our kids play (while watching the minutes until bedtime tick by), and not that I spent too much time zooming in and examining every new wrinkle on my face.
I hope I remember the pure joy of these early warm days with my little family whom I love so much 🤍
The weather is warming up and I’m feeling slightly more comfortable in my skin every day ☀️ Here’s what I wore last week as a mom of two. I have a two and a half year old toddler and a two month old so I need outfits I feel good in, can chase a little guy around in, AND that I can breastfeed easily while wearing. 🔗 Leave a comment with “OUTFITS” to get links to every outfit I wore!
This room is so very special 🤍 The little cars sprinkled everywhere (watch your step!). A tiny sock, never two, peeled off and tucked somewhere hidden away. Piles of books that grow almost as quickly as the little boy who sleeps here. Outgrown pants and shoes to grow into mingling in the closet. Often messy, and a little cluttered, but a little boy lives here. 🚘☀️🐶📚🧸
(Rory is still in our room, but eventually the boys will share. I can picture their little twin beds already!)
About ten days ago, I noticed that today’s forecast was looking WARM. I told Mike, “We’re walking into town and sitting outside and I’m getting a beer. Put it on your calendar.” It ended up being warmer than forecasted (almost eighty degrees!) and let me tell you, it delivered. Today felt like the beginning of The Season™: dinners al fresco, beers/fries/ice creams, and late bedtimes. Indulging in it all because the kids are only getting older and we’re the grownups (somehow) and we get to make the rules ✌🏻
Dress is @tuckernuck & sweater is @kiltecollection
@pennylinndesigns and I hosted a “learn to needlepoint” class this past weekend and it was everything ✨ Needlepoint has been such a bright spot in my life over the past five years- and it’s gotten me through some difficult times. Because it’s helped me so much, sharing this hobby with others has turned into a mini life mission of mine. To sit in a room (my beautiful office space designed by @clare.sull!) with pro stitchers and needlepoint newbies alike was one of my dreams come true. I loved seeing women chatting, meeting, and bonding over this beautiful craft 🪡 Honestly, the needlepoint world is (sadly) filled with a lot of gatekeeping and competitiveness; this weekend proved that it doesn’t have to- and shouldn’t- be this way! It’s for EVERYONE. Whether you’ve never picked up a canvas in your life or you’re working on heirloom stockings for your family, there’s room for everyone at this table.
📍 Leave a comment saying “needlepoint” and I’ll send you my go-to resources for getting started with needlepoint!
Motherhood is pure JOY to me– nothing makes me happier than being with my boys! I wear my @haverhillcollection personalized jewelry every day as a symbol of my love for them– it’s a constant reminder for me of my greatest purpose. To celebrate my first Mother’s Day with TWO boys, I sent in my Haverhill necklace to add Rory’s birthstone and initial alongside Jack’s! I also got a second bracelet to stack with Jack’s. Love that this personalized jewelry can be altered as our family grows. Haverhill’s jewelry is designed to be lived in (perfect for busy moms!) made from solid 14k gold with high-quality birthstones so I never have to take it off to exercise, shower, or sleep. Use code MOTHERSDAY15 for 15% off!
We got a mama-approved family photo of the four of us 👏🏻 I wasn’t really paying attention to our calendar while in the end of pregnancy/newborn bubble and realized quite late that Jack had some time off from daycare and preschool this week. Mike and I quickly decided to book a last minute trip to Florida to visit my family and enjoy the warm weather ☀️
I've learned that rather than trying to make up excuses to myself and the others involved that being honest leaves both parties feeling satisfied. Honesty will make a "no" or a disappointment much easier and the other side will leave the situation feeling respected.
I am still learning how to say no and it is so hard. Like you Carly, I tend to do everything in my power to please all (even when it's not reasonable). This will probably be a constant struggle in my life but I am getting better. I recently said no to taking on another commitment and am so happy I did!
Alyssa J Freitas
Glad you have a good lawyer!
Meg
http://www.smalltownsisters.blogspot.com
Carly, just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy your blog. I originally started reading about two years ago when I googled "J Crew chino short fit reviews" and somehow your website popped up! I've been reading it almost every day since then (but never commented) and I think your writing (which was always great) has only gotten better. Even though it is entitled the "college prep", I really love that you have broadened your focus beyond style and fashion and write meaningful posts such as this one. It really sets you apart from the other "preppy lifestyle" bloggers out there. In particular, I love reading about your fabulous life in NYC – I always think of you as a young Charlotte from SATC 😉 Keep up the good work!
This is a good lesson and one that I particularly needed to hear today! I am in a situation where my team is trying their best to appease a client, but nothing we do seems to be good enough.
Many times they want something late at night or first thing in the AM that isnt exactly feasible. I feel this is good lesson to do your best, within reason!
Thanks, Carly!
Learning to say no is one of the toughest things – especially in college. Trying to figure out how to spread myself, and making sure it is not too thinly, is something I've been working on for years, but has most definitely been tested in the college setting.
I can see this post most definitely helping.
Thanks Carly, from another Carly!
Carly!! The same really often happens to me too! Maybe the key issue in such situation is particulary accurate time and task management. But without your patience I suggest there will be no results.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
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