inspiration

5 Types of Friends You Absolutely Need in Your Life

Cultivating and maintaining great friendships is one the most important things you can do in life. These relationships are so valuable. As I work on my friendships (and like all relationships, there is a good amount of work involved), I try to think of the friendships that are working and how I can be a better friend myself.

Friends

Guest post by Maxie McCoy

Friendships are a constant in our life from a very young age. We move from friends in the neighborhood to friends at school to friends from work to just plain grown-up friends. And while that linear progression makes friendship seem like a walk in the park – we all know through our own tribulations with making friends, keeping friends, or maintaining a healthy friendship…that it can be hard work.

The amazing thing about maturing, however, is you realize that while friendships might be a constant and necessary aspect of your life, you do get to choose who those friends are. You begin to understand that one of the most important decisions you make (and then continue to make every day) is who you spend your time with.

I always look at my friendships through a lense of do they energize me? Or do they drain me? The latter normally comes from drama, pessimism, pettiness, and conversations and priorities that I just don’t have time for anymore. But your energizing friends…oh, you just know. These people leave you with so much joy, love, and optimism (even if the conversations are tough and the things you are going through are a struggle).

None of us are supposed to do this life thing alone. We need our community, whoever we choose that to be. Friendships are an important choice. So when you’re looking at who you’re surrounding yourself with, look for these people:

The friend that believes in you… encouragement is such a potent life force. Sometimes, we need our friends to believe in us so that eventually we can see what they see. They set the bar. And often, with their confidence, anything will seem possible.

The friend that champions you… they’ll open the doors that you need opened. Because often the keys to where we want to be are held in the hands of the friends that love us the most. From business opportunities to introductions to reviewing your resume in their spare time, these friends show up to help.

The friend that will always listen… because so often we just want to be heard. Really, truly heard. And we may just need to talk it out, cry it out, and not have someone on the other side giving us all kinds of advice that we never asked for.

The friend that makes you laugh…meaning you’re always laughing with them. They laugh big and they laugh easily and before you know it, you’re loosened up and laughing like that too. Because laughter is some real medicine. We all need the friends that help us lighten up.

The friend that doesn’t judge, ever… because you will not always say the right things. You will not always make the best decisions. You will not always be perfect and presentable. And that’s OK. You need someone that will hold space for all of your imperfections and not throw judgment your way.

Whether you have a treasure chest of these friends or need to do some work to find and deepen these friendships, knowing what you need is always an important first step in finding it. No matter where you’re at, though, don’t miss a beat in telling the good friends you do have how much you love and appreciate them for doing all of the above and so much more.

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19 Comments

Danielle

This was so needed today. I’ve really began focusing this year on my friendships and those that I surround myself with. It’s insane how when you really start looking and evaluating relationships how many toxic people you really carry through life.

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Ryann Carter

Love this. I really need to work on my friendships! It’s one of my goals every year, but my mom was a homebody and didn’t have a lot of friends (and has a very fulfilled life), and so I don’t know how! Can you do a blog post on that?
http://www.holycitylife.com

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Allison

I so agree, and for me at least making friends now that I’m out of school is so much harder. I work for a small company and everyone’s older than me so I haven’t found any work friends yet either. Would love a post about how to make more friends as an adult.

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Allie

It’s so true- it’s great to have someone to grab brunch with, but it’s these types of friends that are essential. I’ve recently made a bigger effort to stay in constant touch with my core, supportive amazing friends who live far away, and it’s so uplifting! xAllie http://www.theallthatglittersblog.com

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JB

Leave it to Maxie to have me crying at my desk on a Monday morning. I’m so grateful to have all of these friends in my life even if we live all over the country. Thank you for such a heartwarming post and the reminder to reach out to my girls more often!

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Kristina Rhodes

Thank you, Carly for sharing your heart on this. This was really helpful for me. I’ve recently done some re-evaluating with a couple friendships, but always feel so guilty when I don’t want to hang out with people who drain me. That being said, I have been thinking about this idea of a “friend edit” lately and your post was such an encouragement to me. Thank you!

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Eva

“You need someone that will hold space for all of your imperfections and not throw judgment your way.” I love this. It’s been hard to keep track of my friends through the years because we’re all spread thin across the country, but the real ones are always there when you need them.

Eva | http://www.shessobright.com

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Lauren

Love this post! As an adult, I find it particularly challenging not only to form new meaningful friendships, but also to back away from friendships that are no longer positive or healthy. Stepping away from a toxic friendship can be so.hard. It quite frankly can feel like a breakup. I would love to see a post with tips for managing both of these challenges!

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jim

Sometimes you need the friend that’s gonna kick your a$$ into shape, too. A good push from the behind can be worth its weight in gold.

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Abby

What a beautiful post, with great advice! This is what I love to read and it really resonates! I love that your posts and content in general, all remain very genuine and true. You definitely adhere to rule one that you mention in this post, because your personality really shines through what you do!

XOXO
Abby | theclassybrunette09.blogspot.com

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