I would definitely not go so far as to say that I am struggling right now. In fact, I’m doing quite well. School is great; my professors this semester are particularly engaging. I actually have a girl friend in the district finally. College Prepster is moving right along. The response to Sweet Lemon No. 2 has been great, and we’re already well underway for No. 3 (… and No. 4).
But I’m struggling with a few things… as I honestly think many of us early 20s girls are.
Somedays I feel extremely young, even childish.
While other times I feel particularly old.
(I think this might have something to do with my grey hair… the official count is over 35)
I am having a very hard time trusting my heart.
And an even harder time knowing when to use my brain and not my heart.
When is something a mere coincidence?
What constitutes “fate”?
I want boys to get out of my life completely so it’s simpler…
But then again, no thanks.
I worry that I am not sacrificing enough.
I fear that I may have sacrificed too much along the way.
Each morning I wake up with more energy than the day before.
By the end of the day, I lie in bed with no energy but still unable to sleep.
It’s the craziest thing. There just seems to be this perfect unbalance between what I know and what I don’t know. Half the time I feel like I’m trying to slow down and savor every moment. The other half of the time I just want to speed right through life.
Anyone else in this struggle?