I need to be better at following my own advice. Remember my “happily ever as is” post? Well, I guess I’ve been applying it half-heartedly and not following through across the board.
The bottom line is that my life is pretty darn amazing and as perfect as I could ever imagine it. I have the best, cuddliest, snuggliest, muffin of a puppy. I have my absolute dream job. A wonderfully perfect family. I’m healthy, in love, happy, and passionate.
Since quitting my job to work for myself, I’ve actually been better about my perfectionism. Done is better than perfect, I remind myself four times a day (at least). When my income is on the line and I’m the only one responsible for it, I’m pretty good about getting things out the door even if I think it could have been better with a couple of hours of knit-picking.
And yet, I’ve been having this itching feeling of discontent. As opposed to when my perfectionism spanned my entire life (body, clothes, schoolwork, friends, relationships, crew, etc.), it’s been more focused on certain elements. To be honest, that in and of itself is a relief… but it’s still bothersome when I realized how unfair I was being about my life and not keeping things in perspective.
Notably, my apartment has been driving me insane. Truly insane. I think it’s because I’m spending way too much time here since I work from home, but either way it’s gotten out of hand. It’s not big enough or clean enough or decorated enough or light enough or organized enough. Every hour, I’m fixating on something about it and it’s been really bugging me. The irritation then spills over into my everyday life.
But remember all those things I listed above? All the things that are totally and completely happily ever as is? Gosh! I’m letting one small (totally irrational and trivial) thing get in my way.
Feeling content with where I am is so important to me– it’s a good place after all! Not only that, but this perfectionism thing can get in the way of feeling grateful. Which is even more important to me!!!
Instead of torturing myself more by scouring websites searching for apartments I’ll never rent online, and instead of wasting two hours mopping my floors every morning and every night, and instead of thinking of ways I can rearrange my furniture to make it feel bigger… I will be thankful that I have a roof over my head, and thankful that I have a job I love that I can afford it, and thankful that I have plenty of floorspace to play with my puppy indoors, and thankful that I can work from home and avoid that morning rush hour…
Feeling content and being grateful go hand in hand. It is, after all… all about happily ever as is.
Has anyone else ever let one thing distract you from the good or distract you from keeping things in perspective and being grateful?