One of my favorite posts from the archive is about “The Supposed Tos.” I’ve actually talked with a few people about expanding on it in a bigger way, but for now… the blog seems like just as good a platform as any.
If you haven’t read the first post, here’s the Sparknotes version of it. I feel like there are a lot of things that we feel we are supposed to do, but they may be leading us away from our true path. Maybe you feel like you’re supposed to go to an expensive out-of-state school because it’s a “good” school. Maybe you feel like you’re supposed to be pre-med and follow in your dad’s footsteps. While I have been there and checked off quite a few “Supposed To” boxes over the years, I realized (thankfully!) that I wasn’t living the life that I wanted!
I was going down the path I was Supposed To go down, along with everyone else instead of figuring out who I was and what I wanted to do. Over time I’ve made choices that feel like they’re going against the grain, but it’s lead me further down a path that is so much more me. I feel like I’m heading in the right direction for me.
Going off this Supposed To idea, I’ve come to realize that there’s a huge element of creating your own life. Carving out your own path. Molding your own present and future. I wouldn’t wait… I would start now.
I’m the absolute FIRST person to admit that I am not perfect. Pretty far from it in fact! I try my best to not fall down this road of Supposed Tos, but sometimes I find myself in a crowded spot on a path that I realize isn’t what I actually want. That has been happening to me (like living in NYC among other things) lately and I’ve had to reevaluate a number of choices. I’m in the process of adjusting my own sails right now.
In a way, it’s terrifying. Choosing something you’re Supposed To is comfortable, even if it’s not necessarily something you want. It’s making the hard decision to go a different way that takes courage.
Not sure where to start? Close your eyes… and visualize yourself in your ideal world. Are you backpacking around the world? Living in the quaintest apartment in a bustling city with a sick fashion job? Or perhaps you’re a first grade teacher who’s writing a novel in her spare time. It’s YOUR life… what does it look like?
Now, I’d love to say that nothing is impossible, but there are (of course) limitations to a certain degree. Maybe to backpack around the world you have to work for three years saving up all your money to make it happen. You also have to be realistic to within your personal limitations; if you’re dream is to be on Broadway (…. like me) but don’t have the greatest voice (…. like me), you might have to go back to the drawing board.
I think Henry David Thoreau said it best: “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.”