I do believe in the quote about being the average of the five people you spend the most time with. I’m all about surrounding myself with people, especially women, who lift me up, inspire me, and push me to be my very best. I have friends near and far that I’ve met throughout the years. Each brings a little something different to friendship, but without a doubt they contribute something amazing! (And I aim to reciprocate the love the share with me!)
How to Start Building Your Tribe Right Now
Guest post by Maxie McCoy
You’ve all probably heard the word “tribe” tossed around here and there. It seems to be everywhere these days. But for good reason. When we think tribe, we’re essentially meaning the people that just get you. They understand what you’re about. There’s no drama. There’s a ton of support. And it’s the friendships that seem to just be so easy and always work no matter how many miles are between you and how many hours separate your time zones.
As you all can imagine, I’m lucky beyond lucky to have Carly in my tribe all these years. Our friendship was brought together under specific circumstances and has grown far beyond it as we have. She’s basically the perfect example of all the reasons you need a tribe of like-minded people who want your success as much as you do and will do anything they can to help you get there.
However, easier said than done. Sometimes we wake up and realize our friends are just our friends because of circumstances, school, or other reasons that we seemed to “fall into.” Being intentional about building lasting friendships will have a far greater impact on your life than you can ever imagine right now.
One of my favorite quotes is “You are the product of the expectations of your friend group.” Do your friends share in your dream to be President one day? Do they see you getting into the school of your dreams? Do they want nothing but joy and prosperity for you? Because their expectations of you matter.
If you don’t feel like you’ve found your tribe, here’s why you should have one. And here’s a few easy ways to start building one right now:
Find People with Common Goals
There’s no better way to build a tribe of support than by offering to be that support first. Maybe you’re killer at graphic design or have a real knack for dressing up a dorm room. If you feel that instant “click” with someone, offer up your skills to someone who might be able to use them. It’s an easy way to build a great foundation for long-term friendships. (I’ll never forget when Carly walked me through starting my blog! #lifefriends)
Organize Get Togethers
Tribes often extend beyond 1:1 friendships. Often, you’ll build your community of people by introducing your friends to other like-minded friends and being open to their friendships. One of my favorite ways to do this is by organizing “goddess dinners” where I invite a number of kick-butt women to meet each other and exchange dreams, goals, and ways to navigate obstacles. The more your connections meet the more it strengthens your own tribe of humans.
I’ve met some amazing friends on social first. Years ago when I was building offline communities and twitter was all the rage, I was able to connect with other people doing the same thing. We learned from what we were each doing and were able to provide value to the other at conferences and meet ups. They turned into amazing friends that supported my success over and beyond the role. If you find people that are on parallel paths, a DM or email never hurt!
Engaging in Your Own Interests
While sometimes we end up being friends with people just because we have always have been friends with them, a great way to build out your tribe is by engaging in the interests close to your heart. As they say, “Your vibe attracts your tribe” and there’s no better way to be putting out the right vibe than by doing the things that sets your soul on fire. If you’re the creative type, head to a painting class. If you’re musically inclined, join the choir club. The people there interested in what you’re interested in will be a great foundation for meaningful friendships.
Be in the Business of Making Friends
Regardless of where you are or what activities you’re partaking in, your mindset is of the utmost importance when wanting to build out a tribe. If you’re in the market for new, deep friendships, you have to be open to that possibility. When I moved to a new city for the first time, I would always tell people, “I am in the business of making friends.” I would make effort to make new friends. I would make time for it. I would ask for introductions. And years later that has resulted in a life-changing community of people around the world that support me on my rise.
A meaningful and supportive tribe is something we all need. Don’t wait another day to begin building yours.