Ugh! I love this guest post from Maxie so much. I find myself wondering about decisions I’ve made and whether or not they were the right ones. I actually worry before, during, and after I’ve made the decision about whether it’s the right one to be making. That’s no way to go through life!
How to Know for Sure if You Made the Right Decision
Guest post by Maxie McCoy
Where’s a crystal ball when you need it, right? Wouldn’t it be SO nice if we had immediate confirmation that whatever it was we decided had the outcome we hoped for? Or even better, wouldn’t it be lovely if we knew which direction to take at the fork in the road? – That veering left versus veering right would give us the outcome we desired.
Theoretically, yes. We’re hoping for this every time we ask ourselves, “But how will I know for sure??” I hate to be the bearer of bad news…but you won’t ever know for sure how something will turn out. Life has a pretty high rate of chance and risk and unknown from the time we plop our feet on the ground in the morning.
Collectively, this isn’t something most of us deal with very well…the whole, making-decisions-when-we’re-not-entirely-sure thing. Did you know that when given the option, more people would pick a negative outcome rather than an unknown outcome? We would rather pick a bad outcome than the chance of something bad happening. Unknown is clearly not our forte.
However, there are so many situations that we WANT to know for sure– that we for sure picked the right college, that we for sure handled that situation well, that we for sure made the right choice to break up, that we for sure picked the right career, that we for sure made the correct trade-off, that we for sure said all the right things, that we for sure should have spent that money, that we for sure gave it our all. Some things are in our control, and most things are not. So when it’s the latter, the only way to know for sure is by acknowledging that we don’t know for sure.
While we can’t be totally sure, we can do a few things to help ease our minds in times of worry, and in times of freaking out about a decision…
First, know that there is no wrong decision. I know it sounds cliché but the more days I live on this planet the more I know it to be true. Every decision, even if it’s the worst one you’ll ever make, is contributing to your becoming. It’s making you the person that you are. And it will teach you precisely the right lesson you need to get to where you’re meant to go.
Second, pay attention to your physical signs. I’ve made decisions and then changed them or back-tracked because of what my body was telling me: mainly that it wasn’t the right path to have gone down. And so I changed it because that gut feeling and that all-over, ‘body speaking to me’ feeling was just off. If you tune in, deeply, by getting to a quiet place and breathing and trying to slow your thoughts, you can see past the anxiety and into intuition.
Third, you’re resolved. You’re not second-guessing and you’re not obsessing over other’s opinions. Now listen, sure may not feel good. Sure may be hard and it might be emotional, but sure is firm. You can cry your heart out and still be sure. You can be scared as you’ve ever been and still be sure. Look for the feeling of sure and you’ll likely find the “right” decision right next to it.
Lastly, remember you always have a choice. Just because you know now, doesn’t mean you always will. And just because you don’t know now, doesn’t mean you always won’t. You’re someone that always has a choice about how you react, what you decide, and even what you un-decide. You’re allowed to change your mind. And no matter your decision, you’ll absolutely be able to handle however it plays out. You will, because you always have.