Sometimes I think that after blogging for (almost) ten years, there are very few things about myself that can’t be Googled. This is so dumb, but I legitimately Google myself probably once a week to pull up a specific photo or to remember exactly when something happened or what the name of that one restaurant I went to in that one city was called. So much of my life is… documented. For better or for worse. I’m just glad that I only started my blog when I was 19 and not when I was a pre-teen or teen or whatever. Because that would have been a nightmare. (Although, I have to admit that I am tempted every so often to wipe my blog clean pre-25 because that was pretty touch-and-go there.)
But while I’ve probably touched on some of these things here and there, maybe in an Instagram Story or in a quick sentence on my blog, I haven’t committed to fully documenting it. (I think, at least, again after 10 years of daily blog posts you just never can be too sure.)
I’m an INTJ. Which is the most annoying thing to admit, I know, but it’s true. I’ve taken the Meyers Briggs test probably eight times as an adult and I have never deviated from this.
When people meet me, they’re often surprised that I’m an introvert because I can be quite animated when I start talking. I (surprisingly) have no issue public speaking, but I find any kind of appearance in public draining. It doesn’t matter if I’m going out with friends for brunch or attending a giant networking event. It zaps my energy.
I can be very rigid with doing things “my way” (awful to admit, but it’s true) and I can often be unforgiving when other people make mistakes when they could have easily (in my opinion, lol) been avoided. (Again, not my best quality, ha.)
While this is how I would be in a vacuum, I will say that knowing that I’m like this has really helped me address some of the personality traits that might not be perceived well in a social sense.
I have met two other INTJs (my boyfriend’s brother and I are essentially EXACTLY the same person and one of my sister’s roommates from college) and it’s an instant bond. 😂We like the same books, belief in the same principals, have the same communication style (i.e. ridiculously direct).
I have two different love languages: gift giving & words of affirmation. In terms of how I give love, I am all about giving gifts. Sometimes I struggle to tell the people I love how much I love them, and gifts are how I express it. I take buying gifts very seriously and am constantly thinking and taking notes for future perfect gifts. It doesn’t have to be the biggest or most expensive gift (95% of the time, it’s a small thing!), but I want it to be perfect. For me, my gifts are usually just an expression of how I listen and pay attention to the people in my life. I take note of things they mention and figure out what would be the best gift, whether it’s a book about a topic I know they’re interested in or a bouquet of flowers delivered at a time they need it most.
The funny thing though is that I don’t prefer to receive gifts from other people. I like to receive love from words of affirmation. I can’t tell you how far a “thank you” will go or just a quick sentence of appreciation… or even just reaching out and saying Happy Birthday.
If you’re not familiar with love languages, I highly recommend doing a little research on it. I think it’s so important to know what you want but also what the people in your life need/want. For my boyfriend, for example, gifts are not his love language. So while I still do gifts (I can’t help it), I also make sure that I’m giving love the way he receives it best. And he knows I like to hear my love and happily obliges.
I’m a classic bottler. I bottle emotions up big time. And I’m probably too good at it. I can go years holding something in and letting the pressure build. Eventually, though, I do hit a breaking point and it’s rarely at an opportune time. In fact, the smallest thing can set me over and it’s not that that I’m particularly upset over, it’s the three years worth of things I’ve just kept bottled up. I work on this daily and, like I said earlier, knowing I do this helps me be better at not doing it (as much).
The good thing is that my bottling is typically 100% personal. I am pretty good at constructively confronting someone if there’s a particular issue with a friend or loved one. In that case, I can let my feelings be known mostly because I hate conflict and would prefer to just deal with it right away versus letting it fester. Instead, I sit there and bottle up all of my personal stress and anxiety and worries and doubts. It’s great, haha.
There’s Tucker right up front!
I used to hate reading and was afraid of dogs & now I have two dogs and love to read. I just think it’s funny how big of a role both reading and my pups are in my life when, for the good majority of my childhood I was terrified of dogs and despised reading. As far as the books go, I think I would have enjoyed reading had it not been for required reading in school. (I hated that our school did AR points because it felt like a game I had to play– and win– versus something I could just enjoy. It made it stressful and competitive.) Books became my true escape my senior year of college when my friends had all graduated and I had quit the rowing team. I got a library card and started reading everything I could get my hands on. I even read the Harry Potter series for the first time and then my mind was really blown.
For dogs… I was afraid of them right up until college. It wasn’t like I thought one would attack me, but I was wary of letting a dog get near me. (I am still not a fan of licking or dog hair that sheds.) Then I went through a rough patch after quitting crew and spent so much time at the house I was living in with Little V’s brother’s golden retriever Tucker. I swear he could sense I was upset and he would literally follow me around the house and lay down on my lap whenever I sat down. After three straight weeks of it, I was very bonded with him and ever since then, I’ve been okay with dogs. And, of course, have two of my own now. (Tucker passed away recently and I really do miss him!)
Speaking of fears… my biggest one is getting arrested for and wrongly convicted of a crime I didn’t commit. It’s a very, very strong fear even if it’s pretty irrational. If I watch anything where jail is involved or a trial, it’s almost a guarantee that I’m going to have a nightmare about it in the next week or so. Ugh. Next up there on the list is tsunamis or any natural disaster involving water. It. Freaks. Me. Out. I’m fine swimming in oceans and lakes and whatever (I know that skeeves some people out), but I am always very much aware of the power of water.
Okay that’s all I can think of for now! I don’t know if I revealed anything new exactly, but maybe! Anything else you’d want to know?!