One of the little mantras I repeat to myself frequently is that I can’t control everything, but I can control myself. When something is going wrong that I have no control over, I can control what attitude I have. When someone does something to me, I can control how I react. Sometimes when I feel like things are the most out of control is when I feel the most power personally– because I can, and do, make it through to the other side.
5 Ways You’re Being Your Own Biggest Obstacle
Guest post by Maxie McCoy
Our paths are full of curveballs and wrong turns and even some potholes. That’s just that way it is. And even though other people’s journeys might look beautiful and easy… trust me they’re not. That’s nothing more than well-curated photos. Despite the obstacles that you can’t control… you can always control the one that tends to be the biggest – You.
Whenever we’re trying to make magic in our own lives, we are the only thing in our way. We get in our way in relationships. In our work. In trying new things and making changes. But, don’t let this get you down… we’re all doing it. It’s one of the beautiful things about having these great minds of ours. They can be our greatest tool and our biggest downfall.
The good news is that once you know that you are your own obstacle, you can start to do something about it. Take a look at these ways we end up being our own enemy and see where you’re inhibiting your own potential:
We go at it alone – I know how easy it can be to keep your feelings to yourself. And to believe that you need to figure it all out on your own. Nothing could be further from the truth. You have to share your problems in order to get your solutions. So, if there’s a place you’re having some trouble and can’t quite seem to navigate it, try opening up to someone you can trust and asking for their thoughts and insights.
We don’t stick with it – The difference between people who are successful and those who are not, is that the successful people just keep going. They kept doing it. They kept creating. Don’t let a lack of motivation or a lack of creativity keep you from doing it. Typically, those things don’t come first. Rather, try doing something small over and over again, and see how the motivation and inspiration will follow.
We want it now – Good things take time. So much time. But rarely do we let anything take so long. Because we want the end results and the big wins pretty much immediately. We have to practice patience. If you’re feeling anything but, try looking around and finding the magic in today. Because I can promise you, the mountain-top will feel good for a second then you’ll be back to asking “What’s next?” if you don’t learn to appreciate the ascent.
We compare – We compare to our past selves. We compare to our friends. We compare to strangers on the internet. We compare to celebrities. We compare ourselves right into being completely unhappy. So if you find yourself rather susceptible to comparison (I sure do!), limit the time you spend looking at other people’s lives. Try minimizing the scrolling and see how you feel.
We don’t believe – You have to believe… in you. When you come back to how powerful you already are in creating the life that you’re seeking and the magic you’re hoping for, anything is possible. You don’t have to change. You don’t have to do it on your own. You don’t have to do it now. You simply need to come back to believing in all that you already are. If you’re feeling like you don’t really believe in you, try acting as if you do and you might find that the feelings of self-belief will follow.
If you’re being your own obstacle right now in some of the ways or all of the ways, remember…you’re not alone. We all do it. But the more we can get on our own side and the more we can be on our own team, the more we’ll enjoy all that we’re doing. Maxie’s book You’re Not Lost: An Inspired Action Plan for Finding Your Own Way is full of advice like this. Read it if you want more of a deep dive!