Advice

mushy post

This year has been really… weird.
I have completely mixed feelings about being a senior.  And I have experienced every range of emotions possible.
I’ve been so stressed (both in good and bad ways), that I at times resort to surviving on a minute to minute basis.  Being so focused on “just getting through today” is great for daily survival, but it definitely makes me lose perspective on the bigger picture.
I work a lot.
I do not have a lot of fun.  I’m not even sure if I know how to have fun???  Twice last week I was asked what I did for fun.  The first time, I totally had to make up my response… on the spot.  I hadn’t really ever considered the fact that I don’t have “fun.”  The second time was a professor who commented on my exhaustion.  “Carly, you make me tired just looking at you… you’re always working.  What do you do for fun?  Go out?  Alcohol?  Anything?”  I drew a blank.
Obviously, there are some great pros to working constantly.  I get a lot done for starters.  But there are cons.  Namely: little sleep, dark circles, small number of friends.
Now that I get to the whole “friends” issue.  I’ve definitely learned who my real friends are this semester.  Friends that genuinely want to be my friend whether or not I have 3,000 twitter followers.  Friends that don’t care that I don’t go out.  Friends that let me cry to them at midnight when a stranger says something totally mean about me online (hello, I am a person).  Friends that will drop anything and everything if I need help with something.  Friends that I can sit with for seven hours studying.  Friends that make me laugh until I have a six-pack.  Friends that commiserate with me over the pinheaded population of boys on campus.
Some of these friends I’ve had since freshman year.  Some of these friends are new.  Some of these friends live miles and miles away from me.  But I love them.  I know they are always there for me.  And they know that I would be there for them in a heartbeat!

One of these friends, helped me out so much last week.  Another person dropped the ball, and he was right there to pick it up.  In fact, he spent hours with me working on what needed to be done.  He was amazing.  We even ventured into Riggs Library.  I’ve never been inside before, but it was just as amazing as I thought it would be.
That’s what made me realize how my time at Georgetown, however frustrating it may be at times, means so much…
…and the friends I’ve made while here means even more.
xoxo

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18 Comments

Anonymous

It sounds like you have fun… in your own way.

Reading, dinners, cupcake runs, studying with friends, blogging, fashion, etc… all of that is fun. Just because you're not going out and getting drunk, you still have fun. Fun things make people busy too. ๐Ÿ˜€

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Anonymous

Are those pictures of the library @ Georgetown? If so, what a beautiful library!

I understand where you are coming from and at the end of the day, you need to do what makes you happy and going out all the time might not be "it" for you which is OK! I'm glad that you have realized that you do have a supportive bunch of friends that you can turn to!

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oxford cloth button down

Don't let others define "fun" for you. I am right there with you as people look at me strangely when I tell them that I find reading and running really fun.

Plus, it is always good to realize who truly values your friendship. Very nice photographs. I love libraries!

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traceyleffler

Being a senior is scary and exciting. I definitely can relate to the "surviving by the minute" mentality, sometimes it's what you have to do to get through.

It sounds like your work is your fun. You are allowed to define what "fun" is to you. Also you are allowed to change that definition over time.

One thing I realized once I graduated college, is your circle of friends change. People move away and its difficult to keep in touch and in the loop of everyone's life. A small, quality circle of friends, in my opinion, is much more valuable than a big group.

Best of lucky Carly!

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Tracy

Carly,
I struggled with this when I was in college 10 years ago. I was editor in chief of the college daily, working ALL.THE. TIME. I came to a point my senior year when I really struggled with the fact that I didn't feel like I had any great friends. I remember thinking, "No one calls me to do anything! No one wants to just hang out with me!" In reality, I did have friends, ones whom I still talk to today. However, it was difficult because my friends were my "employees," at the paper. Hang in there! Sounds like you are appreciating your friendships. Enjoy them!!!

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Elizabeth

Carly, enjoy your time while you're there. When I graduated from college, I was so "over it" and ready to get out into the real world. Try to savor the moments and take a breath every once in awhile (I know, easier said than done!).

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catziac

Define fun for yourself! I'm a college student and I don't drink or go out either and although those things seem to be the status quo for "fun" for almost all college students, know that there are others out there who are just like you (and more than you'd think!). Your blog is fun! Heck, I think doing work is fun! And as for friends, it may seem like other people have a million friends, but a lot of times it's all just a front. It's most important to stay true to yourself and have just a handful of wonderful people in your life. Appreciate the uniquely fun parts of your life — they're what make you you!
– Cat
http://www.catziac.wordpress.com

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laura emily

What a gorgeous library, so inspirational!

Always keep smiling Carly, for what you do brings joy to so many people across the globe. But importantly, do what makes you happy as this is the only thing that matters! ๐Ÿ™‚

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Portuguese Prepster

I'm sure you still have fun-fun does not have to be going and drinking! It can be shopping, blogging, eating! I can't even imagine all the mixed feelings senior years brings and I'm terrified for it myself. I wish you the best of luck and I hope you start feeling better soon!

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Brianna Tucker

I understand how you feel about finding your true friends. I am a 5th year senior and I am taking my last few elective classes online so I can work as a teachers assistant to prepare myself to get my masters in elementary educations. Those that truley value your friendship will make time for you, even if your not up to doing the typical college things anymore
follow me at
adventuresofthesouthernwife.blogspot.com

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Tariro

Seeing this post made me actually feel a lot better…..recently its been so hard trying to see who my real friends are! Especially in my grade, its just like people want popularity and sometimes they don't even care for you. I question who my real friends are every single day, and it sucks. But the people you're close with are SO lucky to have you as a friend! They really are.
xo,
http://peppermintandivy.blogspot.com/

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Hannah

Carly,

I just wanted to say that I've been reading your blog for a year and I think you're awesome! I look forward to reading your posts and think that all your accomplishments are really inspiring. Keep up the good work and stay true to yourself! You're great!

Hannah

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Anonymous

This makes me feel better. I always feel like I don't have friends because I'd rather not be going out all the time. I think your version of fun probably includes working, as it does for me. I'm in my senior year at University of Toronto and can totally relate. We'll be done school soon!! ๐Ÿ™‚

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Joy

I'm definitely struggling to find a balance. I go to a small school and for me it's hard for me to socialized much in the house, especially when it's a small community and you're all force in it together. When you're the oddball that doesn't mesh with others, you still out like a sore thumb. I don't like not having the option of "picking" my friends as horribly highschooly that might sound.

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Katie's Bliss

You have less than a year left of college! Having fun is important because as soon as you graduate life only gets harder. I'm trying to live up my senior year as much as I can. Good luck!

katiesbliss.com

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The City Boy

i seriously feel the exact same way!! I struggle a lot with the fact that I feel like I literally do nothing but work. When people ask me what I did "fun" this weekend my response is always nothing…feels embarrassing, but i have learned to accept it.

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Ashley M.

Carly,
I completely understand where you are coming from. I do not enjoy going out to bars and partying.. I never have. However, many of my friends do and until recently, gave me the hardest time about how I never do anything fun and I'm boring and too "studious." Excuse me but how can it be possible to be too studious. I've come to realize that "fun" is something that each person defines differently because for me — homework and planning for my future classroom is my kind of fun. Keep doing what you are doing because all that matters is if you enjoy it!

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Becky

Aww, I feel just like you and everyone else here! My roommate and I have been complaining about how we haven't been having any fun at all this semester. All we do is study and work! I drink on VERY rare occasions, I don't go to bars or to the clubs, and the party scene isn't really big on my campus. So, like you, I've realized who my true friends are this year: the ones who'll pull all nighters with me at the library, who'll watch TV episodes and movies with me on Friday and Saturday nights, and who dream with me about our futures (we're all premed!)

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