I received an interesting email from someone a few months ago. I’m pretty used to receiving interesting (read: not the nicest) emails and, for the most part, I just ignore them. For every interesting email I receive, I have a handful of nice ones. I am focusing on the net gain here 😉
This particular email though struck me and I can’t seem to get it out of my head. I think about it frequently. The person more or less said my blog was annoying her because it seemed like I could “do everything.”
It especially comes to mind when I get an email from someone saying that they found something I said inspiring or consider me a role model. Please don’t get me wrong here, I am always extremely grateful when someone says this. At the same time, it can sometimes feel like a LOT of pressure. Just so we’re all clear here….
Um….. there are SO many things I cannot do!!!
Just to rattle a few off…
I am terrible at memorizing country names, capitals, and locations.
Anything related to accounting makes me feel like shriveling up.
I take things personally.
I have a tendency to not respond to text messages.
Exercising of any kind is just not in the cards for me.
(On that note, I can’t play sports that end in –ball.)
I never have driven confidently on the interstate.
Going to parties (and frankly any place that’s crowded) is basically torture.
For every test I’ve passed, I’m pretty sure I’ve failed one too.
I always get the lyrics to songs wrong.
I frequently Google idioms because I’m never quite sure what the right way to say one is.
I know that I put a lot of pressure on myself to be perfect and to be better and to be greater. And it’s a little overwhelming. Add in the fact that it feels like people are watching and judging and the feeling magnifies.
I really wrote this because I don’t want people thinking I can “do it all.” I can’t. By any stretch of the imagination. But I do value my weaknesses.
For me, I derive a lot of my motivation from the exact things that I’m simply not good at. Instead of becoming discouraged (or intimidated) by something I can’t do, I work on it. I find someone who is good at it and ask them questions. I practice and attempt to improve the skill I’m lacking.
(I also get frustrated…. a lot.)
What are things that you’re not good at? What methods do you use to get better?
xoxo
I don't think you should have made a post about things that you can't do. Aren't we remarkable for the things that we can do? Is it your fault that you are successful and get a lot done, and the person who sent that message is in a rut? I don't know, I just don't think you should sell yourself short because someone is intimidated, maybe, by the fact that you run a successful blog, career and life.
I disagree! I love that you made this post about weakness. Everyone has them, whether you acknowledge them or not. The moment you acknowledge your weaknesses is when you can start to manage them.
This is your blog, and you can control what you write. I think everyone with a blog knows that it's more pleasant to write about the good things and the success rather than the bad things and the struggles. You have clearly had a lot of success over the past few years, but I'm sure you've had your share of failures. People who read your blog might not always realize that you're not perfect (no one is). I don't think admitting your weaknesses is selling yourself short… I think it shows your readers how much you've accomplished as a normal, everyday girl! That's incredibly commendable.
I've been reading your blog for a few years now, and I think this may be my favorite post of yours. Thanks Carly!
– Devon
retrouvaillesblog.blogspot.com
The fact that you never exercise and stay skinny anyway is not helping your case, madam…
(I meant that as a compliment by the way…)
Great post 🙂 Everyone has their weaknesses and it takes a big person to not only acknowledge them, but try to overcome them.
http://booksbeautyandbars.blogspot.com/
Such a great post saying what most bloggers always want or need to say!
There are plenty things that I am not good at – anything to do with Maths and numbers, trying to learn languages, confrontation, hiding my feelings and eating avo (haha!)
x
One of the best things I have learned in the past year is to be as true to my weaknesses as I am to my strengths. Often, I'm realizing the a weakness is just the other side of a strength. And sometimes it's just a weakness, but acknowledging and accepting a weakness is not the same as resigning yourself to it. It's just giving yourself a break so you can focus on the things you are good at.
I find you very inspiring, Carly, but not because I think you're perfect. You work extremely hard and are always striving for improvement. Now that's a role model!
Great post- there's a ton of things that I'm terrible at- making breakfast, organizing anything, and cleaning my house are just a few
This post makes me admire you even more!
Great post! It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who googles idioms before I say them! :]
I'm not good at voicing my opinion. There are many things that I am not good at, but that is the one I've been struggling with the most lately.
carly, I really like you! I just started reading your blog this summer and I am so glad that I did. I find you very inspiring and easy for me to relate to! So please keep being you!
My heart hurts for you knowing this email made such an impact on your emotions that you felt you needed to write a post on it. The person who wrote the email is the one with the issue, my dear, not you.
I've never understood why readers continue reading a blog if they do not like it….if you don't like it, please move on and find one that is right for you. Don't put our blogs down which is a direct reflection of us and please move on quietly.
We share many of the same life challenges so thank you for sharing, and let's start embracing them. What do you say? : )
Fantastic blog, please, keep up the good work and do not change a thing!!!
You are my hero because you can do so much…I use it as a motivational tool….that poor soul…she must be very bored! And I was chuckling as I read your list…because I kept saying ditto!
You are a dear and lovely gal! Just keep doing what you're doing because you love it and it makes you happy! Don't you worry about anybody else! Xoxo
One of the best classes I have EVER taken was a marketing class centered around how you market yourself (finally a class that related to the REAL world). Well in this class we made failure resumes. Instead of saying that you were proficient/fluent/knowledgeable…in something, you would say what you were bad at. It was hard at the start but after a while I was drumming up so many things that I couldn't do. It was kind of relaxing. It hangs on my wall now and I add things as I go. But I also take things off of it. That's what calms me down. Adobe anything is tricky and it used to be at the top of my list. And while I can't say I'm 100% perfect at it now, I can say working towards it makes me feel like I can ALMOST do anything in it.
If you take ten minutes a day to look at yourself and say that you're happy and that you want to be happy even though you "can't do it all" and you can admit to failure. then you're doing it right.
theplaidduchess.blogspot.com/
It takes a big person to even acknowledge their weaknesses, and an even bigger person to try to improve theirs. You got to be an inspiration to people by just being yourself, so keep it up!
You are MY role model, and my other friends are just as obsessed with you as I am! That person was a jerk and don't listen to them!
xoxo,
cYa
I'm not very good at workplace confrontation – and not just the negative kind. I'm very apprehensive about asking the guy that works above me what things I should be responsible for since I'm new. I've been putting it off but I really can't anymore.
I also suck at sports that end in -ball! Tennis is the only one I'm decent at!
<3
kimberrleigh.com
I join those who say that the writer of that email is the one with the problem. However, I also understand what you mean by the pressure that it puts on you. In my group, I'm the one who is supposed to know everything…and I don't (obviously).
I also think that the writer of that email was confusing positivity for perfection. You have faced difficulties (and are now, and will in the future), but the great thing about your blog is that instead of using it as a space to complain about whatever the crisis du jour is, you focus on other things. Then after the tempest (so to speak), you may or may not tell us about it, but you will focus on the positive aspects and what you have learned. That doesn't come naturally to many people, but you make it look easy (even though I know it's not). Sadly, many people also cannot see the difference.
Keep doing what you are doing
@birdgirl78
What a sad email. And shame on that writer for sending it.
I adore that you google idioms! So glad that I'm not the only one.
I agree with your emailer! It DOES seem like you can do everything. But thats because you're organized and disciplined! Any time I need to step up my game and get things done (and be stylish and preppy at the same time) I check out your page! Keep up the hard work and thanks for the inspiration! LOVE it!
I think you are amazing! You are a role model, but you are also a normal person. You are an inspiration because you admit that you are a normal person, but you are still challenging yourself every day! I'm proud of you and I really truly enjoy your posts, especially ones like this that prove you are even more amazing 🙂 Thank you!
I think you are an amazing role model! And I think the person who sent that "interesting" email to you should be ashamed at attacking someone for their strengths. Everyone has a strength and weakness and you always show us your strengths and how you came to find those strengths. This leads us to know we have our own strengths. So thank you for that. I truly enjoy your posts and have even modified a few of my study habits when I noticed they weren't as effective after reading your study tips (and they work!! 🙂 )
Well said. I tend not to take it to heart too much when random people say mean things, because most of the time it is the result of their own character flaws rather than those of the person they are needlessly criticizing. That being said, a respectful critique is sometimes the best way to turn a weakness into a strength, realizing that no one is, or ever will be, perfect. Constant self-improvement and perfection are not the same things, but not being able to achieve the latter is no reason to consistently strive for the former.
This post is too incredible!
Knowing these little things about you makes me like you all the more! 🙂
I'm really sorry that someone wrote an e-mail like that to you though. You do seem to have your life pretty under control at times but that doesn't mean that you're perfect. Appearances can be deceiving!
However, even if you do have weaknesses, I look up to you Carly! In you, I see a strong young lady who takes control of her own life and encounters obstacles with grace and dignity. You are a classy individual and you inspire me everyday to become a better person!
So thank you very much for that Carly. Thank you for being yourself and for being honest with us, for taking the time to share with us so much.
There are so many things that I'm terrible at.
The list goes on and on and on…
I think the most important weakness I have is my impatience. Second is probably my technological ineptitude. Call me crazy but I wish sometimes that we could go back into the past, before the advent of technology! 🙂
I hope you had a marvelous Labor Day weekend! <3
~Alice
The Ace of Hearts
So strange someone would actually take the time to write an email saying that you. Anyways I love your blog! You seem so well put together and driven – it gives me something to aspire to!
katiesbliss.com
A lot of people seem to forget that blogs only represent a small portion of a person's life (and what they choose to show), not necessarily every little minute detail. Maybe the person was jealous about the type of support and opportunities you've had in your life that make it seem like you can "do everything" ? Don't let it weigh on you or make you focus on what you perceive as your flaws or weaknesses. Just focus on what makes you happy and what you want to improve on.
Hey. I've read your blog for awhile now and never really comment. First, you need to remember that people who send rude mail probably have a bigger issue in their life. Second, it is your blog. Who wants to focus on all the 'bad' things like geography when writing? This blog is for you.
Anyway, I started reading your blog a few years back because I live in DC and you were here and I have always been impressed by how together you are. Of course, you may need to work on the party thing, you're young!
I find you so inspiring, Carly! You know your weaknesses and you will admit them! You also are so aware of your strengths and I think that is why so many people (including me) love your blog. I also admire your confidence and will-power! Keep on keepin' on!
It is unbelievable that someone would take the time out of their day to write you an email as negative as that. It is unnecessary and completely uncalled for!!! You are a very bright girl and you have worked hard for your success – you show that in your posts with the way you write and your accomplishments. I admire you so much and I love reading your blog because you have been able to excel in the things you love. That's why it looks like you are SO successful. BECAUSE YOU ARE! You worked hard for your job and you got what you wanted. You worked hard and went to a great school. You get it. So don't be put down by someone who hasn't been able to find something they love enough to be able to be as successful as you have been in your things.
This post was not needed, but I definitely give you kudos for putting yourself out there and showing (and admitting) that you are not perfect and that you make mistakes and you have flaws – that in the end makes you the perfect YOU!!!
Keep your head up and keep posting!!!
xoxo